Feature artwork by Tina Marie Elena
You know how when you’re scared, your body freezes up?
I have lost count of the amount of times I have had to command my body to ‘MOVE!’ When I’ve found myself frozen stiff out in the surf with a giant wave barrelling towards me. And with the news and our FB feeds yelling HI, HEY, HELLO, HERE’S A NEW REASON WHY YOU SHOULD PANIC TODAY, maybe you’ve found yourself freezing up a little recently, too.
But there is something we can do about this.
I mean, I don’t know what to do about the whole global pandemic thing (that old chestnut, hey?), but what I do know is when I switched off the news and started focusing on this thing instead, my life got a whole funner. For one thing, I could move again, feel again, laugh again. I moved out of my head and landed firmly back in my body. Because this little deer-in-the-headlights decided to turn away from the panic and focus on her pleasure instead.
Intimacy, sexuality, sensuality and what makes good sex? Listen to our interview with BBXX.world co-founder Sasza Lohrey >>HERE<<
In her book PUSSY, Regena ‘Mama Gena’ Thomashauer tells the story of the agricultural goddess Demeter. Demeter has a daughter, Persephone, and one day Persephone is abducted by Hades and he takes her to the underworld. Persephone is devastated at the loss of her daughter and as she is the goddess of the earth, earth begins to die as she grieves- crops and plants stop growing. Famine spreads. It’s hell on earth. According to Mama Gena’s version of the story, while Demeter is deep in her grief, along comes Baubo, a mythical goddess. She is outrageous and sexual and wild and makes jokes while flashing her vagina to the goddess Demeter. And Demeter starts to laugh. The point is, sometimes the only cure for wild, sad or uncertain times is a great big dose of pleasure.
Now is such a good time to reconnect to that part of you. Here are some old-school ways you can dive into your pleasure. If you wanna go by the Greek Mythology blueprint, maybe it’s exactly how we’re going to restore peace on earth.
Read / listen to online erotica:
Do you remember the first sex scene or sexual thing you ever read? Maybe you stumbled upon it by accident. Or a friend showed it to you. Or you found in one of your older sisters or mothers
book or magazine. Do you remember the illicitness, the voyeuristic feeling of it? The feeling of your body coming alive? There are ways to recreate that feeling. Apps such as Dipsea Stories (we fricking love Dipsea!) offer sexy audio stories that spark your imagination and get you in the mood. Read Aurore offers free online erotica stories and is a feminist, inclusive destination for the full
spectrum of great sex to unfold, unwrap, unravel.
Wanting to really dive into a full length dirty novel? The Crossfire Series by Sylvia Day is what ’50 Shades of Grey’ should have been. Skillfully written and feature a protagonist who actually has dreams, ambitions and her own complex personality.
Or, you can use this time to dive into the classics, with this list of 34 best erotic classics.
Chances are you are currently spending much more time at home than usual. Maybe you can’t even recall a time you spend so many days in a row in your room since you were a teenager. I don’t know about you, but during high school I found myself grounded quite a bit, which meant quite a lot of time alone in my room, with just myself and my imagination. And I remember stretching that imagination as far as it could go. Here’s the cool thing about using your imagination: you get to explore any kind of reality you want, completely without consequences. And when you’re a horny teenager with nothing but time, that imagination can take you to some wild, gratifying places.
Put the phone down, stop scrolling insta, and let your mind travel wherever it wants.
Write your own erotica:
If you want to explore a more tangible idea or fantasy and possibly save it for later, why not write it down and make your own story? Write it in your phone if you’re scared of prying eyes.
If you’re having trouble knowing where to start, you can Google a whole bunch of erotica writing prompts. Either you’ll get an idea, or what you find will be so cheesy you’ll find yourself thinking ‘I can do way better than this.’ Either way, the creative juices get pumping- win win!
If words aren’t your thing, maybe drawing is. Why not get your Jack-and-Rose nakey drawing scene in Titanic on? Don’t pretend you didn’t re-enact the old ‘hand swipe down the sweaty window’
scene in your shower when you were younger. If you’re quarantined with a partner, why not make a drawing challenge? Set a timer for 15-20 minutes, one person has the pen and paper, and the other paints (draws) their partner like a French girl. Then swap. Even if it doesn’t turn out to be particularly sexy, it certainly is an opportunity to connect in a different way, get vulnerable and see each other with new eyes.
If you’re quarantining solo, consider taking a photo of yourself nude on your phone self-timer, then spending the afternoon taking that image to paper with a pencil or pen? You can be artistic and abstract, if you’d rather focus on less explicit but more sensual things like your bare back, or your legs. Or you can go all-in and sketch a close-up picture of your vulva. See work of epic artist Melina, Tsurufoto for inspiration. Or the Great Wall of Vagina.
Explore erotic artists
Don’t write insta completely out of the equation. Enjoy a classic pleasure-filled scroll of these incredible erotic artists; Milk for my Coconut, Regards Coupables, Tina Maria Elena, Alpha Channeling, Alicia Rihko, Melodie Perrault, Eromatica, Tendership.
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