“You do not know what you are missing by your microscopic examination of sexual activity to the exclusion of aspects which are fuel that ignites it. Intellectual, imaginative, romantic, emotional. This is what gives sex its surprising textures, its subtle transformations, its aphrodisiac elements. You are shrinking your world of sensations. You are withering it, starving it, draining its blood.”

Anaïs Nin

We need more porn.

What?! You’re thinking. While the statistics are ambiguous, porn takes up a sh*t-ton of real estate on the internet already. Ass, tits and women’s bodies laying in thinly-veiled fuck-me positions are used to sell every product under the sun. And you want MORE?

Yes.

Because what I see in todays porn, no matter how wide or varied the fetish goes, is always the same thing. Quick, linear gratification. Almost always geared toward pleasing the gaze of the dude. Straight forward, hyper-exaggerated. Predictable.

I mean, I can’t speak for all women. Sexuality and desire is as unique as a fingerprint for anyone and if this kind of content makes you happy, all power to you.

But there is something severely lacking in todays over-sexualised world. A world where productivity remains the paramount value, where every input needs an output, every endeavour a conclusion. You would think having sex slapping us in the face everywhere we go, we would be a sexuality-literate society.

But we’re not. At least I don’t think so.

So!

I wanted to provide a little list of three admirable women who are doing their work to flip the script, to reclaim desire, to revel in the space of lust and sex and magic. Peruse at your pleasure…

Erika Lust

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Lust is a sex-positive adult filmmaker and her goal is to portray sex the way she sees it: beautiful, intelligent and full of joy. Often called the maker of feminist porn, Erika creates sex stories that are aimed at pleasing women. There’s more of a story line, more nuance, more real people doing the deed.

Erika Lust Films is part of a new wave of ethical adult cinema production, challenging mass produced mainstream pornography.

The shift towards consuming organic produce instead of fast food is reflective of a more ethical, intelligent society. All at Erika Lust films want to encourage this type of consumerism within adult entertainment, through ethical production and distribution. They have a sex-positive mantra that ensures equal and fair payment for all involved in the film making, diversity in the talent and most importantly? That women’s pleasure matters.

You can find Erika’s films at erikalust.com

Apollonia Saint Clair

In a world where you can see two people having sex at the click of a button, there’s something illicit about peeping dirty, erotic artwork. It feels like being a kid, and stumbling across the naughty parts of a book on your parents bookshelf. With her seemingly simple black-and-white artworks, Saint Clair’s surrealist erotic drawings evoke sexuality and desire through shapes, textures and sometimes dreamlike fantasy scenes. Follow her on Instagram here. Thank me later.

The Yoni Empire

Pleasure educator and ‘pussy whisperer’ Elena is leading the conversation on all things female pleasure with her online platform The Yoni Empire. Delivering daily words of wisdom on all things desire, sex, orgasm, pussy, relationships and pleasure, follow her online musings and watch your sex life explode, stat. Here’s an example of her genius:

“Most people are having conventional sex and are not aware of it. Conventional sex is modern mechanical sex obsessed with skills and orgasm. Concentrated on the most efficient orgasmic release, both partners work hard to reach this goal. In an effort to cum, movements become faster, harder, more aggressive and more unconscious.

Partners often crave intense sexual stimulations as help – fantasies, porn, sex toys. The goal of orgasm interferes with pleasure. It causes stress of performance and satisfaction – both people determined to finish the session successfully. This type of sex happens in the MIND instead of the BODY.
Conventional sex is lacking in sensuality, pleasure, abundance of time and patience.

Conventional sex is fast-food sex.

It fills up the craving short-term yet leaves you drained and exhausted long-term.

Conventional sex is not a sustainable form of love making in long term relationships and is one of the main reasons why couples stop having sex. It is especially damaging to the female body and sexual psyche. Hard-core and impatient thrusting, lack of foreplay, unconscious penetration, expectations and guilt-tripping to have sex all turn a woman off sex over time.

The body begins to armour and close down. Thats when numbness, dryness, inability to orgasm begin to appear.

Once the novelty of new sex partner wanes, so does the female libido. Unaware of other options, most women either stay having conventional sex as a form of settling for “as good as it gets” or go cold turkey. Many assume that they are broken somehow for not enjoying it. On a personal and global level, this is a WORLD disaster.

We are living in a culture of severely under-fucked and unloved women.

Women living without the ambiance of sensual and sexual love wilt and dry up like flowers, often experiencing depression, despair and stress.

How to step out of conventional sex? First, take a step inward into your own body and heart. Understand what is currently holding you back from experiencing pleasure. What do you like? What scares you? What irritates you? Where does it hurt? What excites you? What fulfils you? The journey to epic sex begins WITH THE SELF.”

Yep. Follow her here. 

Feature Image: Erika Lust