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I hope you break your resolutions on day 1

I hope on the first day of 2018, you break one of your resolutions.

And it takes you two or ten or twenty startovers to get into the swing of your new habit

So you may see

The consciously ‘not doing’ of something you promised yourself you would

Is actually an important part of the process

And the final ‘cultivating’ of said habit

Is proof to yourself that you can rewire your patterns

And you are resilient enough to get up again, and again, and again

Until you fully commit

And in growth, we are not machines

In transformation, nothing is perfect.

 

I hope someone loves you enough to provide constructive criticism

And say

‘Is what you just did in integrity with your values? Does it align with who you say you are?’

Or

‘I see you shrinking yourself to fit in. Stop that’

Or

‘That joke could be offensive to some. Here’s why’

I hope someone you trust

Stares you straight in the eyes

And refuses to turn away

Until you meet theirs with an equally clear gaze.

 

I hope you are lovingly challenged by your community to continually learn, grow, and to step up

And be a living example of the kind of society you want to create

What kind of world you want to live in

 

I hope you have your long-ingrained beliefs about the world challenged

I hope your very perception of the reality of the world, and your place in it, is turned on its head.

If you believe you are unloveable, I hope the world shows you just how damn loveable you are

No, wait. I take that last sentence back.

The world has been trying to show you how loveable you are your whole life

I just hope this year you are finally able to see it.

 

I hope you feel heard and listened to by your people

Yet I hope you know it’s not important wether you are understood

Their life is theirs, yours is yours

As are the decisions you make.

 

If you believe you’re a creature of habit

I hope you allow yourself to step outside your comfort zone from time to time

And say yes to an invitation you’d usually pass up

Or strike up a conversation with a stranger

Or try the weirdest thing on the menu

Whatever.

 

If you believe you’re not ‘one of the brave ones’ I hope you surprise yourself

By taking a leap so terrifying your heart jumps in your throat

And you scream yourself hoarse on the way down

The adrenaline

Vibrating

In your veins.

 

What else do I hope for you?

I hope you can sink into your body more

Really breathe deep into every cell and limb

And feel safe and loved and nurtured inside your skin

I hope you walk tall

and open

to the world

Not hunched and protected

Prepared to fight or flee any second

From a predator that never comes.

 

I hope you and your family is healthy

(I used to think that was a lame, throwaway comment people made as a force of habit around this time of year)

Until I realized just how fragile health is

How much we just always assume our lungs will breathe, our eyes will see, or legs will run and our throat will speak.

Until one day, they don’t.

I hope you wake up,

Hold your hand up to the light that is crawling in your bedroom window

Flex your fingers

And marvel at all the small factors at play that allow that movement to happen

Your entire body working to keep you alive

And serve your desires

And how mind-fuckingly- wonderful that simple reality is.

 

I hope this year you let yourself look silly

And ugly-laugh a billion times a day

And on the days everything looks grey, accept it for what it is

A grey day

And love yourself even more.

Sometimes all there is to do is have a shower

Get a glass of water

And go sit outside.

 

I hope in these final days, these final hours of 2017,

You take a moment to see it all.

The fuck-ups

The successes

The people who exploded into your life out of nowhere

and the people who made an exit

And say thank you. Thank you so God damn much for all of it.

 

And you turn toward 2018, and step into it

Bold and unafraid.

 

Here is a super powerful  journaling exercise to help you reflect, appreciate and get excited for the year ahead.

 

 Feature Image Photographer: Frankie Mark @fancygomez

About the Author:

Caitlin is a journalist and writer from Australia. She’s into collecting and sharing the stories of other human people. Mostly women’s stories. You can find her at @caitlincreeper

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