I am more wolf
and I’m still learning
how to stop apologizing
for my wild.” – Nikita Gill
Coming across this short poem has hit me, shook me, straight to the heart.
How to stop apologizing for my wild…?
How to stop doubting if it’s ok to be loud. To be bold. To be freakin’ raw…?
Wild = Unable to be tamed. Not ruled by mankind.
I feel wild when I’m the only chick in the surf line-up.
I feel wild when I go ahead and paddle powerfully for a wave next to a man that clearly thinks i’m not gonna make it; MINE !!! I scream.
I feel wild when I go to the restaurant / bar barefoot, because I don’t give a shit about wearing shoes. Why are we the only creatures wearing them, anyway?
I feel wild for dropping out of university, because apparently people don’t do that. They swallow it up and finish their degree even if it sucks all the life from them.
I feel wild for running a business in Latin America. One: because it does mean I live an unconventional lifestyle / in margin of society. Second: because there is very little women running businesses here at all.
I feel wild for roaming the globe by myself. For having learnt to feel comfortable with being alone. For having built the capacity and self-confidence to go up and engage conversation with basically any stranger.
I feel wild for proudly rocking my big curly lion hair — on the best and worst of hair days.
I feel wild for not wearing makeup, because I do believe I look beautiful without it!
I feel wild for turning around and confronting latino men in the street that make noises or comment on my ass out loud, like I’m a deaf bimbo.
I feel wild for being able to get loose and dance my ass off without any alcohol. Just as much as I feel wild for being able to drink a hell lot of beer and rum when I do feel like it.
I feel wild for loving the grit of a gruelling workout. Loving to physically push my body to its limit, until I lay flat on my back in a puddle of sweat.
I feel wild for being able to converse in three different languages (and even be able to crack some good jokes in the second and third ones hehe!).
I feel wild for after all that, totally enjoying putting a beautiful dress on, a nice hat and a touch of mascara, making me feel like the most majestic creature of the animal kingdom.
See, we are the women who know what the frick they actually want — I mean, most of the time.
We are the women we walk in front of the group.
We are the women who run projects.
We are the women who Run. Lift. Surf. Climb. Play!
We are storms. Not the kind you run away from, but rather the kind that needs to be chased.
We need, we crave, the company of people who’s energy adds to our fire!
But “the penalty for having high standards,
That a woman with boundaries,
is a mountain that some men won’t be interested in climbing” – Mike Read
Seriously, how many time have I heard someone tell me : “You are intimidating for a man”.
Which I always answer with the same face : ( -_- )
Like what’s the deal?
We are supposed to lessen our roar not to scare the pretenders ?
We’re supposed to cook and act pretty while he goes surfing ?
I say fuck that.
I will only lovingly stand by one man’s side, if he is able to hold space for the brightest expression of my wildness…
you’ll just be too much of a woman.
Too much of something that makes a man feel
like less of a man,
which will make you feel
like you have to be less of a woman.
The biggest mistake you can make
is removing jewels from your crown
to make it easier for a man to carry.
I need you to understand
that you don’t need a smaller crown.
You need a man with bigger hands.” – Mike Read
You’ll find me dancing barefoot, sober, with my lion’s hair out and onto big waves in the meantime.