In the last year alone, I have lived and surfed in El Salvador, climbed a volcano in Guatemala, travelled Europe and currently live and snowboard in Golden, BC. Where will I be in a year time? I don’t know. And maybe that’s why a few weeks ago I was tagged in this pic from the Salty Souls Instagram.
I was tagged in this photo, and it made me smile. Knowing that I can send this vibe of being fearless is touching, comforting. Comforting because ‘fearless’ is not the way I see myself. I can believe I am a brave person from looking back at all the decisions and the challenges that I have overcome in the past. I know I can be courageous because time and time again I have jumped into new adventures without asking myself too many questions.
But fearless? Completely without fear? No. This would definitely not appear on my resume.
I am scared of a lot of things, actually.
Scared of not finding the project that will make my soul vibrate for the long-term.
Scared I will not find that special person who will hold my hand and support my ideas, no matter how crazy they seem.
Scared I will forever stay caught up in the wanderlust, never finding the perfect place to call home. The place that will make me want to stay and settle in for good.
“Scared I will forever stay caught up in the wanderlust, never finding the perfect place to call home. The place that will make me want to stay and settle in for good.”
I am scared I will never be satisfied.
I want something intense, deep, and true. I want something to wake up for. I want something and somebody that I can look forward to.
I’m scared of not finding that.
Travelling is a beautiful gift to oneself. However, it is not all stars, rainbows, and unicorns. If you don’t take the time to establish true relationships and valuable experiences, it can rapidly become shallow and repetitive in a certain way. It takes time and effort to build friendships that will survive over long distance and time.
Laurence surfing El Salvador
One thing that I am proud of is that I didn’t let fear stop me in my life. I am lucky to have friends and family who pushed me towards the uncertain and unclear path for me to find happiness. Deep down, I always knew that going away and travelling was what I needed, but I was scared. Scared shitless to get out of this little cocoon that I had created. I confounded comfort & happiness, and I believe a lot of people do. Way too many people.
“Fear is going to be a player in your life, but you get to decide how much.”- Jim Carey
Happiness is the key word here. It might be frightening to make the jump and get out of your comfort zone, but when your guts and your instincts tell you that at the end of the road you will be happy, do it. Don’t overthink it, just do it. It is so damn easy to find excuses along the way to quit. Sometimes, it feels like the whole world is against your ideas, your passions, or your projects. If you still have this feeling at the bottom of your heart that it will make you happy, simply do it. Try it. What do you have to lose, seriously? There is no such things as mistakes or bad decisions. They are experiences. Be smart and learn from every move you will make along the way.
in Kicking Horse, BC
Surfgirl Magazine had an interesting way of describing fear by saying that “there is a theory that fear is non-existent and is just a human translation of excitement.” We should use this emotion of fear in order to transfer it in a greater energy. Understand the causes of this fear and face it instead of running away from it. .
“If it scares the shit out of you and excites you at the same time, it probably means you should do it.”
You don’t have to be fearless to become limitless. What you need is learning to make those butterflies in your belly fly in formation.
featured image by Lauren Engel
