I hope on the first day of 2018, you break one of your resolutions.
And it takes you two or ten or twenty startovers to get into the swing of your new habit
So you may see
The consciously ‘not doing’ of something you promised yourself you would
Is actually an important part of the process
And the final ‘cultivating’ of said habit
Is proof to yourself that you can rewire your patterns
And you are resilient enough to get up again, and again, and again
Until you fully commit
And in growth, we are not machines
In transformation, nothing is perfect.
I hope someone loves you enough to provide constructive criticism
And say
‘Is what you just did in integrity with your values? Does it align with who you say you are?’
Or
‘I see you shrinking yourself to fit in. Stop that’
Or
‘That joke could be offensive to some. Here’s why’
I hope someone you trust
Stares you straight in the eyes
And refuses to turn away
Until you meet theirs with an equally clear gaze.
I hope you are lovingly challenged by your community to continually learn, grow, and to step up
And be a living example of the kind of society you want to create
What kind of world you want to live in
I hope you have your long-ingrained beliefs about the world challenged
I hope your very perception of the reality of the world, and your place in it, is turned on its head.
If you believe you are unloveable, I hope the world shows you just how damn loveable you are
No, wait. I take that last sentence back.
The world has been trying to show you how loveable you are your whole life
I just hope this year you are finally able to see it.
I hope you feel heard and listened to by your people
Yet I hope you know it’s not important wether you are understood
Their life is theirs, yours is yours
As are the decisions you make.
If you believe you’re a creature of habit
I hope you allow yourself to step outside your comfort zone from time to time
And say yes to an invitation you’d usually pass up
Or strike up a conversation with a stranger
Or try the weirdest thing on the menu
Whatever.
If you believe you’re not ‘one of the brave ones’ I hope you surprise yourself
By taking a leap so terrifying your heart jumps in your throat
And you scream yourself hoarse on the way down
The adrenaline
Vibrating
In your veins.
What else do I hope for you?
I hope you can sink into your body more
Really breathe deep into every cell and limb
And feel safe and loved and nurtured inside your skin
I hope you walk tall
and open
to the world
Not hunched and protected
Prepared to fight or flee any second
From a predator that never comes.
I hope you and your family is healthy
(I used to think that was a lame, throwaway comment people made as a force of habit around this time of year)
Until I realized just how fragile health is
How much we just always assume our lungs will breathe, our eyes will see, or legs will run and our throat will speak.
Until one day, they don’t.
I hope you wake up,
Hold your hand up to the light that is crawling in your bedroom window
Flex your fingers
And marvel at all the small factors at play that allow that movement to happen
Your entire body working to keep you alive
And serve your desires
And how mind-fuckingly- wonderful that simple reality is.
I hope this year you let yourself look silly
And ugly-laugh a billion times a day
And on the days everything looks grey, accept it for what it is
A grey day
And love yourself even more.
Sometimes all there is to do is have a shower
Get a glass of water
And go sit outside.
I hope in these final days, these final hours of 2017,
You take a moment to see it all.
The fuck-ups
The successes
The people who exploded into your life out of nowhere
and the people who made an exit
And say thank you. Thank you so God damn much for all of it.
And you turn toward 2018, and step into it
Bold and unafraid.
Here is a super powerful journaling exercise to help you reflect, appreciate and get excited for the year ahead.
Feature Image Photographer: Frankie Mark @fancygomez