I slightly started to want a change in my life when I came back from a trip to Mexico in July 2015. But I denied it quickly and pushed these thoughts aside; thoughts I denied for way too long, thinking I might just want, or need, to travel more. But sometimes you can’t deny strong feelings, the kind of feelings that even if you haven’t experienced them yet, you know deep inside that one day, you’ll have to listen to them. Traveling two times a year was not enough for me. The 9-5 routine was not enough for me. It took me so long to listen to this little voice inside me, until I arrived at a point in my life where I couldn’t deny it anymore.
When it becomes mentally unhealthy, you can’t deny it anymore.
When you read more travel blogs and Google ‘working and traveling at the same time’ more than your full-time hours at the office, you can’t really lie to yourself any more. When you have a well established and active life yet are still left feeling unsatisfied, you can’t deny it anymore. You can’t deny it when every single day you’re just sitting on your couch, wondering how the f*** you could leave, quit your job, sell all your goods and buy a one-way ticket!
Many of us think about doing this. And then many of us swallow the hope, tell ourself it’s an impossible to create a life of work and travel. It’s a nice fantasy, that terrified voice in our head says, but let’s put it away now and get back to the grind like everyone else like a good girl.
“Many of us think about doing this. And then many of us swallow the hope, tell ourself it’s an impossible to create a life of work and travel.”
Well, I couldn’t do that anymore. I didn’t want the same things society was telling me I wanted. And when you don’t see what’s in your heart reflected anywhere in the world around you, you feel so alone. At 28, I did not want to settle down, have a boyfriend or buy a condo. I didn’t want anything that involved a compromise.
All I wanted was to pack my luggage and leave; be free as a bird and travel to places that make me feel alive. Because this is exactly the feeling I get when I travel and step out of my comfort zone: Alive! After 3 years of having my routine in Montreal, I was SO fed up! I remember how much it seemed impossible just one year ago. I remember how much I was dreaming of the life I’m living right now. So I started, slowly but surely, to work on my next chapter very hard. And this is exactly how (and why!) I jumped into the Salty Souls Experience last January.
“I wanted to hear the story of each of those girls who did that crazy move: leaving everything behind and GOING! Man no man. Apartment no apartment. Money no money. Job no job. Friends and family. All of it.”
For me, Salty Souls is the major turning point of my decision.
The main reason why I decided to be part of this amazing adventure (give it a try, whatever your reasons are!) is that I wanted to hear the story of each of those girls who did that crazy move: leaving everything behind and GOING! Man no man. Apartment no apartment. Money no money. Job no job. Friends and family. All of it.
During my experience with Salty Souls, I had a huge revelation. I mean I deeply felt that revelation inside me, literally coming from my heart and soul. I remember that exact moment, when I was watching the stunning sunset after a refreshing yoga session, and it ran through my whole body. A voice saying:
“Do it! Do everything you can to change your life and LEAVE! What are you fucking scared of?!”
I wanted to stay there. I also wanted so bad to come back right here in El Zonte, El Salvador. Don’t ask me why here. I guess this “pueblo”won my heart. So I made myself a promise: To stop being scared and to do everything I could to change my way of life!
And here I am now, in Zonte, 8 months later…
Right now I don’t really know where I’m going, but I don’t feel lost or alone at all. Yes, the usual fears and doubts crept in. I left home sweet home in August as I thought, what if after two months I want to go home?
Then another voice inside me said: dammit, just give it a try!
“So I made myself a promise: To stop being scared and to do everything I could to change my way of living! And here I am again, 8 months later…
Right now I don’t really know where I’m going, but I don’t feel lost or alone at all.”
Even though I had a lot of friends and amazing people around me back there in Montreal, I felt that myself and my crazy dreams were not fitting at all in a routine life.
Yes, it has been hard and sometimes I just wanted to deny the part of me that craved a life of adventure. But then I didn’t renew my lease. I started to tell people around me I was leaving. And finally… I quit my job and bought my plane ticket!
Right now, I know more than anything that I’ll always find a way to do whatever I want with my life. I did it. I made this life my reality. If I can manifest my dreams into my real life once, I can freaking do it again. I trust the universe. And I trust myself. I trust that I’ll find a way to stay right where I want to be!
Trusting our instincts and listening to our heart are the most important steps!
Coming back to El Zonte quickly reminded me why I did this huge move and why I decided to leave everything behind me. I didn’t get that feeling that I wanted to go home. Actually, quite the opposite. That voice hit me again, the same one that came to me 8 months ago and told me to LEAP. This voice looked like me and sounded like me and said: “Actually, I don’t want to come back home at all.”
“I want to do so much with my life, I have so many projects on my mind, my creativity capacity increases every day and I couldn’t feel more amazed about it!”
So I’ve made another promise to myself.
I’m never going back to normal life.
I don’t have a flight home… Because I guess I don’t want one!
Here I use my free time to travel, discover, explore, be outside. I always push my limits, step out of my comfort zone and do things that make me feel stoked and serene at the same time. Now I feel that everything is possible! I want to do so much with my life, I have so many projects on my mind, my creativity capacity increases every day and I couldn’t feel more amazed about it!
“You know Caro, once you’ll be on the other side of the fence, you’ll be amazed by how much people are living the life you’re dreaming of.”
Who would have thought that I’d come back right here in El Zonte and teach kids? No fucking one, neither myself! Teaching kids is so much out of my comfort zone! And guess what? I LOVE it. Teaching is so rewarding! Every day I’m happy to wake up and do my work! And it’s also because I get to meet new people, travel and be surrounded by nomads, travellers and crazy free souls like me, who just decided as some point of their life to change it all and live it the way they want, is the best feeling EVER!
And then I had a special thought for this more-than-inspiring Salty sister Erika, who once told me during our coaching sessions: “You know Caro, once you’ll be on the other side of the fence, you’ll be amazed by how much people are living the life you’re dreaming of.”
She was so right. Here I am; every day proud of what I accomplish and with a huge smile on my face at all times!
